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NAME:   Monica Rivas                                                       DATE:   10/03/2005


 COURSE:  ESL 91                                                           ESSAY No.   1










Every single person could influence someone’s life, no matter the age, gender, race or position of that individual.  For me, my daughter Jocelyn has been the most influential person.  Thanks to her I have experienced many positive changes in my life, such as: how to correct some errors, make good decisions, understand parents' point of view, be more responsible in my tasks and even cook better.  As we all know those changes do not come without ups and downs, they have demanded time, goodwill and great effort.  It is still a gradual learning process that little by little is getting easier to achieve because I want to be a good example for her and I want her to know how much I care and love.


Having a baby is an invaluable experience for all women, especially for me.  I developed new feelings not felt before.  I start thinking from a different point of view and the most important thing was that I understood my parents.  I learned the reasons why they were so involved in my life.  I now realize they were trying to guide me on the right path.  I used to think that I was always right, doing the correct thing and making the right decisions.  I blamed them many times for interfering in my life.  Now I feel very bad about that and I wish I could have the opportunity to go back years and listen to them without giving them any pain; but I guess that is life cycle and maybe my daughter will do the same.


Before my daughter was born, I used to do what I wanted to do, like sleep late at night and wake up late in the morning.  Sometimes I did not feel like cooking or doing laundry, I just stayed at home watching TV or listening to music.  Since my daughter came into my life things are totally different.  I am now aware that it is not my choice if I want to do the chores but rather that I have to do them.  My preferences in reading also changed.  I read books on parenting and other baby things.  I became familiar with issues on baby’s health and behavior and how to resolve them.  In other words I was trying to learn how to be a good mom.  This helped me because I did not have any experience about this new career and it was a useful tool.  Day by day I learn something new for her and I think it will never end.


Like almost most of the immigrant people, when I came to the U.S.A. I wanted to stay here just for a couple of years until I saved some money and then return to my own country.  With my daughter things changed.  I began to think of her future and the good opportunities she would have in New York.  I changed my mind and decided to stay here.  Although, I feel it is important that I teach her our native language and habits so she can identify herself with my family and the culture of my country.


My temper was also a change I made for my daughter; I used to get in a bad mood easily, and not have any patience.  When I heard her crying, screaming or not paying me attention, I got easily annoyed.  Little by little I understood that she was just a defenseless baby who needed me a lot, so I began to be more tolerant with her.  Now that she is seven years old we face other type of problem, like when she feels a little lazy doing her homework, but I control myself and sit with her to have a good conversation letting her express her thinking, her needs, in what way she agrees or disagrees with me and how we can make a "deal".  I see now that it is easy to get along with her being lovely and patient.


 Now that many years have passed I thank God for giving me the opportunity of taking care of one of his "angels”.  I pray to him to help me be a good mother.  My daughter has been a very important person in my life and she has made me feel blessed.  I also encourage other women to enjoy this hard but also unique task of being a mother.  Not just being a mother, but being a good mother thinking of our children's future.  They are the future of our society.  Of course, there will be times when they will fail and other times succeed but they should always know that they can count on their parents to fulfill their needs.